Let's sell Johor to Singapore!

Read this on LittleSpeck.com. Funny but make sense too really.

Johor

'Sell it to Singapore!'
A tongue-in-cheek solution from a Malaysian. Fun to read.
The Anti-jihadist.
Oct 24, 2007

Ladies and gentleman, Malaysia is facing a cash crunch.

The oil, lifeblood of the Government's treasury, is running out. Hugely expensive programmes such as NEP and subsidies are politically untouchable, so hence must run in perpetuity.

And of course Malaysia will in the future need more massive Merdeka parades, more shiny new Russian jets to overfly said parades, and more spaceflight participants to consume teh tarik and commit khalwat in orbit. So many expenses and dwindling income. What to do?

Simply put, Malaysia seriously needs a lot of cash...and the little cash-loaded red dot to our south (which need not yet be named) needs real estate and resources.

So my friends, with my tongue placed firmly in cheek, I would like to offer this simple answer for Malaysia's impending financial woes.

Let's sell Johor to Singapore!

That's right, not just the troublesome metropolis of Johor Bahru...the whole state of Johor - lock, stock and barrel.

Quite obviously, it's a mutually beneficial deal. UMNO/BN gets billions in hard currency that they could not obtain otherwise, and hence get the grease that lubricates the wheels of their, ahem, 'unique' brand of government.

Singapore gets desperately needed living space, and also acquires vital resources that it no longer has to buy from its surly neighbours (like sand and drinking water).

Not to mention that those annoying issues like the causeway and the crooked bridge are rendered moot, because Singapore will own both sides of the strait. Both sides win!

Oh sure, the Sultan in JB may have a small objection to the aforementioned deal. Enough cash in his pocket and the usual UMNO-style kickback should settle the matter in the usual way. OK, let's not call it a kickback.

We can call it a small gratuity, with another estate or two in Switzerland thrown in to sweeten the transaction.

Besides,I am quite sure that the Sultan can work out a deal with the pragmatic folks south of the (current) border to look as if he's still in charge whilst the practical bureaucrats of the PAP take care of the less glamourous aspects of running an efficient government.

Moreover, once the relatively non-corrupt Singaporean police show up in Johor Bahru and clean up the place in short order, the folks in JB should quickly grow positively fond of their new landlords.

After all the BN-sanctioned corruption and violence that's plagued the place for decades, who wouldn't be grateful?

Of course, after a half century of watching UMNO governments run Johor into the ground, I wouldn't blame the Singaporeans a whit if they didn't want any part of this proposed transaction.

Compared to their immaculately-kept island, Johor can best be described as a handyman's special, or a 'fixer-upper'.

It would take a ton of work to spruce up the place. But the Singaporeans don't seem too averse to a dint of hard work. After all, the miracle that is today's Singapore certainly didn't build itself, did it?

Alright, it doesn't have to be an outright sale. Perhaps the parties could opt for a long-term lease with an option to buy. Let the potential new owners test-drive their new property, kick the tires, and see how they like it.

After all, the Singaporeans wouldn't want any buyer's remorse, would they?

The Anti-Jihadist

http://pedestrianinfidel.blogspot.com/

Our neighbour's big ego.

Lately our MM Lee gave some remarks about how Singapore (government) might feel if we were to rejoin Malaysia.

"They have got all the resources. If they would just educate the Chinese and Indians, use them and treat them as their citizens, they can equal us and even do better than us and we would be happy to rejoin them," Lee said.

First of all, the thought of that even being mentioned shutters me. The comfort zone that most Singaporeans has taken granted for would be totally distorted. But of course if one thinks deeper, the execution of the merger is way too complex to even be considered more than a passing remark.

More over each country is still doing quite well by itself. The only thing that may pave way for such scenario is if somehow Singapore financial status become like, say Burma. Given the stringent manner governance is conducted, I doubt that would be a reality anytime soon.

And as usual, Malaysian Malays on hearing his remark wasn't particularly pleased. I wouldn't be surprised. If someone were to even criticize my hometown Tampines, I might be annoyed.

This sentence provoked a comment in Utusan Malaysia that the remark is borne out of unease at seeing Malaysia's growing competitiveness, which in some aspects have surpassed Singapore.

With the Singapore dollar still rising, I agree with that to a certain extent. That is if I look at things through a telescope.

They may have resources, land, people. The 3 key things for an economy to work. But if things are that simple, North Korea should be one of the better economy.

Poor security, ever-growing red tapes and blatant discrimination of non-Malays are just tip of the iceberg. Their inefficiencies, unprofessionalism and you always have youth leader of political parties who just shoot off their mouth without thinking. The worst thing is people actually buy that.

Yes, Singapore might be proud. If any other countries has done what we did since the birth of the country, they would too.

I hope their big Malay ego would continue to sustain or even grow bigger. Because with that impeding them to make the right decision for the country, the possibility of a Singapore-Malaysia merger would never happen.

And that's good news.

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$3/$4/$5

I had prawn mee for lunch today. And given that I was pretty hungry, I requested for a mid size portion ($4) to satisfy myself.

When i finally reach my seat with my food, I sense something is amiss. I was thinking to myself did I said I want $4 earlier on. This sure doesn't look $4 to me because one don't get only TWO!! prawns at that price.

My colleagues ordered the same as me. Being ladies they definitely had ordered the $3 and they have same number of prawns as me! What's going on? Where did my additional $1 mysteriously go to? Did the auntie meant a mid-sized bowl for a dollar more?

And the prawns doesn't even taste that nice anymore. Or maybe $4 meant prawns with tangier meat.

Whatever the case is, I felt cheated.

When shopper get conned with an over-priced camera or ridiculously-priced timeshare scheme, they always have CASE to turn to. What about for cases(no pun intended) like mine?

I think this calls for a boycott (and even an online petition!! if I ever learned how to start one). I demand hawker start to itemize what they meant when I upsize. I know what I get at McDonald. Larger fries and a large coke. But hawker food, how the hell would one know if the hawker doesn't state clearly that:

$3 = two prawns
$4 = two prawns
$5 = two prawns + extra soup.

It's obvious consumer misrepresentation(that module in law finally came in useful).

And given that I can't cook to save my life, hawker food is my basic necessity! And when I can afford more, I don't expect to be short-changed!

It's akin to going to Shell station to pump V Power and they still put in 92. WTF!!??

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School Project

Today I did something that I have only done once before. That is to kick someone out of a project group. Despite my lack of patience, I consider myself to be a pretty tolerant man. The myriad of free riders who had done their school project with me would be the best testament.

But you catch me on the wrong foot, my tolerance would quickly evaporate.

Which is what happen today after I notice that the sales for my company is at its worst, compared with the same period over the past few months. And we only added less than $2k after one week of operation! This is despite the fact that we have 3 more sales person and all of them are already operational.

With that, I temperamentally decided not to include a free rider into the business IT project that is due submission today. This guy since lesson 1 did not even bother to understand about the project. He doesn't even have the desire to attend class. My tolerance of him should have expired long ago.

There is another one on my team that I really would want to kick out too. But I reckon I would be over-ruled since she is closer to the balance 2 contributing team members. But then again, I didn't ask. Hmmm...

She is another one that I don't understanding what gave the impulse to pay more than $3k for a diploma course so that you would attend lesson sporadically and even if she comes, it make just the perfect place for her to sms. Yes, her handphone reception work best in a classroom environment.

These are people that need this piece of paper much more than me. They don't get it, they just have a O or N level which we all knows are as valuable as color paper now. But they doesn't give a damn about it. It's just right I return the favour towards them.

On a happier note, I am on my 7th session in my final semester. My last lesson would be on Nov the 4th.

Oh yeah. No more being in the same room with some many stupid & ungrateful dumb-ass. You know how being around a moody person could make one down too? I think the same would apply to stupidity. Kudos to my high immune system

Life is going to be normal again.

I'm so happy I could cry.

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Place of Birth

If you are able to choose your place of birth, where would you want it to be?

For myself, I would rank places like USA, Singapore, Japan, Hong Kong, Australia, Switzerland on top of my list. Most people I reckon would have one or more of them on their listing. And it wouldn't come as a surprise. Competent governance, high quality of living, good security, freedom of expression and many other positive qualities are very important.

Conversely on where you wish you do not want to be born, countries like Iraq, Burma, North Korea may come to mind. The list may even extend to countries that just happen to be next to them.

Given a choice, I'm quite sure any pragmatic local Iraqi, Burmese or North Korean would not want to be where they are right now. Who in their right mind would want to live in fear, repression and threats every single day. They don't have a choice. No one has control over their birth place. And if they happen to be ran by power-hungry dictators who has no qualms in killing thousand so that he could remain rich and in power, luck is not on your side.

Yet these people still need to survive and live while yearning for the kind of life we have taken granted for.

Sadly, not many stood up to help. In the case of Burma, many even choose to profit under such situation. With extensive reasons that plainly means "if we don't do it, someone else would"

Neighboring countries would merely send letters and make speeches, in hope that the high volume of letters and saliva combined could irritate the junta enough to finally give in.

It's time everyone with a conscience take a step back and take off their money spectacles.

Let the people of Burma have what we have too, the pride of their birthplace.

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Crazy Indian Video

Oh man. This just cracks me up. Turn up your speakers.

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Ubersports Arena - Futsal @ East Coast

For all the football enthusiast, there is a new place to satisfy your goal scoring urges.

It's a newly open football arena at East Coast. The concept is pretty similiar to The Cage @ Kallang but anyone who'd played there would know how stuffy it can get.

You won't get that at Ubersports with the higher ceilings and cool breeze from the beach. The only bad thing is the place doesn't have a huge projector to screen football matches. No adrenalin pumping music in the background either.

Nevertheless, my first experience there has been great. The place is new and clean. They can even extend their closing hours if you want them to.

Rain or Shine, your game won't be affected.

Star Search

I was looking through Mediacorp website earlier and came across this. It's the pictures of all the contestant who made it so far into the Star Search contest.

Is it not obvious already who the winner might be this time round? How did I arrive at that? Simple. Looks. Pure looks.

Acting skills, presentation skills, confidence are all something you can learn. There are schools that just teach that and nothing else. But how are you going to change an otherwise ugly front.

You can't. You can only groom it. It's like zhnging your car. You can add the best modifications to it but if it is a proton saga, it will still be a proton saga.

Coming back to the contestant, I would put my money on Tracy Yap to win the women's category and a close fight between Reeve and Desmond.

NATO - No Action Talk Only

But Brossel is more circumspect, believing just because the world is watching, it does not mean the world is acting; "We are witnesses but we are witnesses of something that we cannot stop. We have been witnesses of Bosnia, Burma and Darfur but the international community is useless."

This is the ending paragraph of an article about Myanmar I read on CNN.

Should the world wait and see. Has this been the best tried-and-tested policy since time immemorial? Or could the regional neighbours start to walk the talk. Could countries with vested interest in the country stop thinking about dollars for a few minutes and just think for a sec about how many more human lives are needed to further their returns.

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Game Addict

On 25th Sep at 12pm, I made my way to Suntec City during lunch time.

I was there with my Halo 3 Pre-Order card. For the uninformed, Halo 3 is the third instalment of the Halo game series in which part 2 itself single handedly help Microsoft Xbox game console achieve phenomenal sales record.

The launch event started at 12pm sharp and occupied the entire Suntec tropics atrium. A lot of Xbox 360 stuffs hawkered around but everyone's focus is to get their hand on the game! Many, like me, bought the pre-order card so that they could be the first few to collect the game(plus a goodie bag with a bunch of useless stuffs) and play it.

The queue was so long that it snaked to an exit, all the way outside the air-conditioned building. I was queuing under the blinding sunlight for a good 10 mins before I move back in again.

Standing there was pretty awkward. In my shirt and pants, I feel really out of place between people one generation younger than me. I had even thought of my excuse if somehow there happens to be people from the press interviewing. My answer: it's for my kid.

And if my classmates are reading my blog, yes I skipped class that night so that I could come home and play the game.

Now is day 2 and I think I'm already quite close to the ending. The game didn't turn out as great as I thought. It's always like that. When you yearn and expect something for too long, you are bound to get disappointed.

Still, it is good fun. Kept the utilities company happy that's for sure.

I just hope the game is longer than I thought.

Thought-provoking

Makes you think about that bag you bought not so long ago doesn't it.

How I miss "them" now...

A first look at the picture and I was already quite sure that this is referring to the Bak Chor Mee I had every other day when I was working in Loyang a few years ago.

You just couldn't find any other stalls that also throw in a prawn and a fried wanton.

It was my staple during my year there and I just couldn't get enough of it.

And in between it, I had... their Lor Mee.. Yes, this is like the only stall that I patronize during my employment. The only other stall would be the drink stall.

I had always tell myself to go back and savour the food I so grew to love. The uncle know me so well that without me saying anything, he will make sure I have 3 spoonfuls of vinegar for my Lor Mee. That's the way I like it.

As I was on a 5-day week back then, I didn't knew that they are open on Sat from 6am - 11.30am.

If you wanna look for me around this time this Sat, you know where to find me.

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Things to blog about.

I always admired bloggers like Mr Wang, Kenny Sia and the likes. They seemed to have things to write about everyday. They must be very talkative in real life. Heehee.

For someone like me that is very unachievable. Not much of a speaker(I'm seriously trying hard to reverse that but not to the bimbo kind of standard), it's pretty hard for me to talk about my thoughts in detail.

It wasn't like that in the past when I was still studying for my degree. Writing is second nature. And I feel espcially proud that my writing skills was commended, by an Ang Moh Dr Lecturer no less.

Since my graduation, I haven't had much opportunities to brush up my writing skills. And without topics to focus on, writing with no objective in sight seemed very meaningless to me.

Which is exactly why I just signed up for this programme under Advertlets. They would have specific topics that you could pull off from their website and write about.

Oh yah, and you get paid for doing that but seriously the latter is really more of a bonus. Having a topic to focus on is really what I have always been looking for.

For a start I could only write about Adverlets. Hopefully this will be a good start and from now on, I'll have more interesting things to write about and about my opinions on them.

Facts of Singapore Life

1. Nite - Sleep with
air-con; Day - Bathe with heater on

2. Day - Cannot Wake up; Nite -
Cannot Sleep

3. Translation is needed between Singaporean Chinese and
Mainland Chinese

4. Smell Of rubbish besides letterboxes; Rubbish inside
Letterbox

5. Spore Chinese use different languages other then Chinese to
communicate.

6. Sporean never like to vote, but like to
complain

7. There are quite a number of rich/poor in spore - They have
Car, Credit Card, CPF but no Cash and is liable to lots of loans

9. There
are quite a few high-tech barbaric Singaporeans -they know how to use
state-of-the art equipment, 3g mobile phone and powerful computers but they
dunno how to use a simple dustbin or a toilet

10. Half Sporeans rushed
to buy Hello kitty, but the other half busy killing stray cats

11.
Chewing Gum - Can Chew, Cannot buy?? (Restricted to buying)

12.
Cigarettes - Convenient to buy; not convenient to smoke

13. Private Cars
- Cheaper and Cheaper to buy, harder and harder to Maintain

14. Public
Bus - Half the Crowd squeeze in front section of the Bus, Second section is for
Carrying Ghost

15. Education - Teachers teaching Less but expects
students to learn More

The fourth university... again?

I'm sure most of us are aware that Singapore would like to open the 4th university to accomodate more Singaporeans to pursue their education in Singapore.

SINGAPORE : The Government is looking into setting up a fourth university in Singapore.

During his National Day Rally speech on Sunday, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong also said the objective is to allow 30 percent of each cohort to get into publicly-funded universities by 2015, compared to 23 percent today.

This is one way to level up society, and provide citizens with a top rate education.

More students are progressing to universities as they do better academically in schools.

15 percent of polytechnic students, for example, now go on to the local universities and many more go overseas.

In fact, estimates are that half of polytechnic students eventually gets a degree.

And Prime Minister Lee said Singapore should expand university places but must ensure that students get a good education and valuable skills.

But did any forgot....

SINGAPORE: Its arrival here was hailed as a tremendous boost for Singapore’s education hub aspirations.

The University of New South Wales (UNSW) is, after all, one of Australia’s top universities.

At full capacity, the local UNSW campus would have spun off $500 million annually for the economy, Singapore authorities had said.

But, barely two months after classes began for its pioneer batch of students, the Australian university — citing bottomline concerns — is heading for a sudden exit. It will close its Singapore campus when the semester ends on June 28.

The shock announcement was made yesterday in separate meetings to staff, students and the media, and a notice was posted on the UNSW Asia website. It cited a lack of demand, leading to insufficient funds for its operations here, as reason for the closure.

The university had anticipated an initial intake of 300 students, but its current enrolment is only 148. And, based on applications for its second intake in August, the university projected that it would achieve just over half of its enrolment target of 480.

Either UNSW is not been completely honest or the government know something that they don't.

To me this is really a case of reinventing the wheel for the sake of it. The money that will go into the fourth university would surely surpass whatever more that UNSW might need back then.

On the other hand, it may just be a very expensive and elaborate plan for this purpose.

Reporting a Johor crime? Call this number +607-2212-999

For those that have read my blog in Jan, you would know that I was a victim on New Year day. Since then heading back to JB would typically take me hours to consider and end up just dropping the idea altogether.

But on top of displaying a friendly face after an event you would rather forget, maybe they could also try solving or preventing the crime in the first place.

Johor police will respond to calls from victims of crime in Johor within 15 minutes - if they call a 24-hour hotline.

The number to call is +607-2212-999.According to The Straits Times, police officers based at at Johor's Contingent Police headquarters in Jalan Tebrau, Johor Baru, are on orders to mobilise a team into action within 15 minutes of taking a genuine hotline call.

Johor State Assemblyman Tan Kok Hong was quoted as saying this after a Malaysian trade and investment roadshow led by International Trade and Industry Minister Rafidah Aziz here yesterday.According to Mr Tan, this number is more immediate because officers may not always be able to respond to police station calls immediately due to work matters.

He added: "If the officer does not arrive within 15 minutes, report it to us. The Chief of Police will look into why the police officer arrived late."

A Straits Times reporter put this to the test and true enough, she was greeted by a friendly cop who spoke fluent English.

Johor police have also in the past two months increased the number of policemen, patrol cars, police posts, closed-circuit TV cameras as well as the frequency of patrols, thanks to a RM330 million (S$145 million) special allocation from the federal government.

There has been growing concern over the worrying spate of Johor carjackings, rapes and robberies.

The new measures will reinforce efforts by the Malaysian government to woo investors, including those from Singapore, to Johor's new 2,217-sq-km economic zone, the Iskandar Development Region.

Lecturing

I went back to school today and lesson of the day is Business Information System. Something that I had taken before.

The lecturer is kind of technical but you can tell he knows his stuff and he enjoys educating us about the knowledge and experience that he posssess.

Again it ignited my desire to eventually become a part-time trainer or lecturer.

I'm quite sure that I still need a few years more of working experience to be seriously considered for the role at all. But it occur to me that I should start practising.

And work might be the right place for me to begin.

It also made me realised that I had not really been very efficient AND not spending too much time and efforts in coaching and imparting my years of experience in this line to my staffs.

So taking a cue on the structure and framework that my lecturers has been providing, I will attempt to equal that level of professionalism so things like handbook, guidelines, faq will be readily available.

Coupled with comprehensive coaching to cover all operational aspects, I hope it would eventually amount to something not just to the bottom line but also something that could translate into a sense of pride and difference that the company can provide.

Ambitious I know but if one aim high, you might at least hit the half-way line.

The most expensive coffee in the world

cost $50 a cup or USD$600 per pound. It's called Kopi Luwak and is produced predominantly in Sumatra Indonesia.

It is made from coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet.
.
.
.
.
You read it right. Coffee berries were eaten by an animal called Civet(If you understand cantonese, you might pick up another funny here), they shit it out partially digested and we make coffee from it.

So the next time you are asked what shit you drinking when you are holding your coffee, you know these people know their facts well.

CPF Changes

So the government decided to tinkle with our CPF interest rate. So from now on we have a 
whopping 1 percentage point more!

Although most of your principle CPF money already went to paying for the sky price HDB flat that you don't get to own at all, the 1% will still apply to whever residue you have in your account!. 

The extra money will definitely help us to get a better cane or wheelchair. Can only choose one, can't afford both.

And not only will the government help to safeguard your CPF even longer, they will let you buy annuities. So you give all your CPF to the insurance company and they give you a lower monthly sum.
And this is for the REST of your life unlike CPF 20 years!

With this, I'm quite sure we would also alleviate the problems of poor and old people jumping onto MRT tracks too.

But what if you die earlier than 20 years. Then how?

I propose the insurance companies have special package for those with lower longevity risk. 
If you die within 10-20 years, you will get a queen size coffin with 20 tables. F&B, performance all included plus free shuttle to mandai in special only for coffin mercedes benz. A 5 room HDB will be burnt for you.

5 - 10 years you get upgraded to the gold package. All of the above + a getai with a singer of your choice will be included! Performance included oldies singer, pop songs singer or hip hop dancers. House is upgraded to a Condo with gym and pool facilities.

Less than 5 years you will become a VIP. Platimum class. Not only will you get to live in your dream bungalow but you will also have your private jet!

All the luxuries that you can't afford even if you could take out all your CPF!

Talkative colleagues – biggest time wasters

The next time your colleagues starts rabbling on without knowing when to stop, just show this to them.

Talkative colleagues – biggest time wasters
By Shirley Lee (humanresourcesonline.net)

Singapore – Talkative colleagues is the number one distraction in the Singapore and global workplace, according to a recent Robert Walters survey.

In the survey, 40% of Singapore respondents say pesky colleagues are the biggest distraction, followed by internet surfing and personal email. On the other hand, only 7% of respondents say they are distracted by smoke breaks and a further 7% by personal calls. The statistics do not differ much when compared to global employees.

Mark Ellwood, managing director of Robert Walters Singapore suggests, “Many of us spend our day glued to a computer screen and our professional interaction with colleagues tends to rely heavily on email communication. Not only has the need for office-chatter been reduced by technology, we may now see it as a distraction from our work.”